After losing her daughter to cancer, Anj Mittelstadt was left asking why her child’s life ended instead of her own.
Today, she has found purpose in that pain, dedicating herself to helping others facing the same devastating disease.
“We’re saving the lives of those whose faces we’ll never see and the names we’ll never know and there’s a certain power and joy that comes from that,” Anj says.
“You don’t have to always do something to get something.”
Anj has battled three cancers of her own – each detected remarkably early and treated through surgery.
“One was even accidentally found when I was getting a hysterectomy. So, I’ve had three cancers with no chemotherapy and no radiation,” she says.
Her daughter Missy wasn’t as fortunate. Diagnosed with her first of three cancers at just nine years old in 2016, she endured years of gruelling treatment.
“Missy went through four years of medical hell,” Anj recalls.
“By the end, she was opioid-resilient. Morphine barely touched the pain.
“During her bone marrow transplant, we were in hospital for 70 days straight in one room. She had Panadol and Oxycodone every six hours for 70 days, plus morphine and everything else. We almost lost her twice.”
Throughout her treatment, Missy received hundreds of blood products from generous donors who became silent heroes in her fight.
Despite the pain, Missy remained strong and engaged.
“Missy was very outward looking and thinking,” Anj says.
“She would be right on top of all her medications and be aware of what was happening to her body with different medications. So, she could be a part of the system and not just a victim laying there.
“She was very stoic, and she loved her nurses.”
Her doctor Chris Fraser always gave her choices, even if each was a tough one.
“He was amazing – he loved her, too, I think because she was so interested in what was happening,” Anj says.
“Even if he gave her two really crappy options, at least she could choose. It gave her a little bit of power within a journey where you are completely powerless.”
In August 2020, after a courageous four-year battle, Missy passed away at just 13.
“It’s just ridiculously cruel,” Anj says.
“For Missy, cancer robbed a child of their innocence. I’m alive and I kept thinking, ‘ Why not take me?’. You know, I’ve had a life. Leave the 13-year-old girl.
“But unfortunately, we lost our beautiful Missy and now I’m left luckily with all this purpose. My purpose is so important because otherwise I probably wouldn’t get out of bed, to be honest.”
That purpose is now the Strong Mum Foundation, through which Anj supports parents navigating their child’s cancer journey.
The foundation’s signature tool – a medical compendium – helps families store and organise the flood of information, protocols and specialist contacts that come with treatment.
“I started my foundation because I saw a gap in the help I needed that wasn’t being provided by the big charities,” she says.
“You’re given complex medical information and it’s hard to navigate because you are not a medically trained person. You’re stressed and you’re tired and you’re not getting any Vitamin D, and it’s just so hard to remember anything.”
Parents have called it their bible, and Anj says it’s already helped countless families through the paediatric oncology ward at the Queensland Children’s Hospital.
Alongside the foundation, Anj leads Missy’s Donors: a Lifeblood team honouring her daughter’s legacy.
Together with family, friends and a growing community, they make thousands of blood and plasma donations each year across Australia, saving lives in Missy’s name.
Rebecca Ind, from Lifeblood, says cancer patients are the largest users of blood in Australia.
“We need 11,000 donations each week. Many cancer patients rely on blood transfusions and plasma medicines during chemotherapy or surgery,” Rebecca says.
“Donating blood takes only one hour and is an easy way to help cancer patients, surgical and trauma patients, new mothers and babies, people with immune disorders and many others.”
Anj worries that the donor base is ageing and younger generations aren’t stepping up to fill the gap.
“The average age of a donor is getting older and people are either medically opting out or literally dying,” she says.
“We still import 40 per cent of our plasma from America and China, which is not ideal.
“So, we’re desperate for young people to make it a part of their life.”
Recent rule changes mean people who’ve fully recovered from manycancers can now donate again after just 12 months.
After waiting years, Anj is ready to roll up her sleeve once more.
“Missy’s birthday is on a Sunday in December, so the Friday before that, we’re hoping to book out the whole day at our local donation centre for Missy’s Donors,” Anj says.
“You just can’t understand how good it feels helping someone else out until you do it.”
Born and raised on the Sunshine Coast, Anj now lives in North Queensland but still visits her hometown, including a recent stop at Maroochydore Donor Centre.
“I always say ‘take a mate’,” she says.
“If you’re worried or nervous or anxious, take your friend, your bestie, your mother, your lover, your sister. That way you’ll have emotional support and you’re saving double the lives.
“I always encourage parents to take their kids and let them watch because in all the research I’ve done over the years, when I’ve asked people why they donated, they say, ‘Oh, because mum and dad did’.”
To find out about donating blood or plasma, call 13 14 95 or visit lifeblood.com.au.
BY THE NUMBERS
- One blood donation is needed every 18 seconds.
- One-in-three Aussies will need blood or blood products in their lifetime, but only one in 30 donates.
- One blood donation can save up to three lives.
- Red blood cells can only last 42 days from when they’re donated.
- Each blood donation travels on average 372km from the donor to the patient who receives it.
HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED DONATING PLASMA?
- Plasma is now the most needed type of blood donation in Australia, with demand reaching record highs.
- Fewer than 1 per cent of Australians donate plasma, despite more than10 million being eligible.
- Plasma is the powerful yellow liquid part of your blood, and it can be used in 18 different life-saving treatments.
- You can donate plasma at Lifeblood donation centres – it’s just like donating blood but takes a little longer.
- One plasma donation is needed every 33 seconds in Australia.
- Children’s hospitals alone require 45,000 plasma medications and transfusions each year.
For more information or to book a donation, visit the Lifeblood website today.
