The Sunshine Coast sells a dream like a romantic comedy film: sunlit mornings, barefoot afternoons and a community that appears effortlessly welcoming.
But for many newcomers and even long-time locals, forming meaningful friendships or romantic connections can feel far less idyllic.
Almost one-in-three people feel lonely, the latest State of the Nation Report in 2025 from Ending Loneliness Australia reveals.
Childhood friendships often begin effortlessly. Sometimes, all it takes is a quick game of tag in the playground.
In adulthood, however, making and keeping friends is rarely so effortless.
So, why does connection become harder with age, and how can we do it better?
Loneliness and isolation can stem from sticking to insular routines in an area with a fluid tourist-based population, psychologist and Sunshine Coast Couples Clinic director Madonna Hirning says.
To counteract this, she says group-based activities are one of the most effective ways to create social and romantic opportunities.
“These regular sports or group exercise classes offer the advantage of seeing the same people regularly and building connection over time, and often social events or opportunities spill on from these kinds of activities,” the Certified Gottman therapist says.
Volunteering can play a similar role.
Conservation projects such as Coast Care, turtle protection programs or joining a local surf club can provide shared purpose – a powerful foundation for connection.
“Above all, try to just say ‘yes’,” Madonna says.
“Take small risks. Say ‘yes’ to invitations that are out of your comfort zone.”
How we meet is also becoming increasingly important, says Dr Rachael Sharman, senior lecturer in psychology at the University of the Sunshine Coast.
“We do have some solid research now suggesting that meeting online leads to less satisfactory and stable relationships,” she says.
“That’s not to say they don’t have their place, but they really are a case of buyer beware,” she adds, warning that bots, catfishes and scams are now common.
Dr Sharman recommends a return to real-world connection.
“Any in-real-life scenario would be ideal,” she says.
“Meeting people at places you genuinely enjoy visiting or where you have keen interests ensures you at least have similar interests from the get-go.”
That might mean anything from running clubs and yoga to pickleball, swim squads, board game nights, paint-and-sip classes or after-work drinks.
Speed dating and singles eventsstill exist, Dr Sharman says, and meeting people through friends remains “a winner”.
“Even if you don’t end up with a romantic relationship straight away, you will at least increase your social circle and may well eventually end up with a friend of a friend,” she says.
Modern dating has its own language – situationships, ghosting, breadcrumbing, love bombing – reflecting how relationships have shifted in the digital age. It is a far cry from the playful, exaggerated games of Kate Hudson’s character in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, who leaned into every dating ‘mistake’
for effect.
Madonna says dating apps have reshaped how people connect, bringing opportunity and complication.
“Advantages in that using dating apps is now seen as almost the norm and there are many different platforms to choose from,” she says.
“This creates easy access to a large variety of people to choose from whilst also providing the comfort of anonymity that is not an option in real life.”
But Madonna says those same advantages can create confusion.
“It is now the norm to be talking to and seeing multiple people at once in different ‘stages’ of dating, which can bring ambiguity and sometimes land us in multiple situationships rather than the relationship we may be seeking,” she says.
“This can make it difficult to know where we stand with the people we are seeing or communicating with.”
That ambiguity often carries emotional fallout.
“It can lead to feelings of jealousy, confusion and helplessness when the person we have been seeing continues to see multiple other people, along with feeling stuck in the situation without knowing how to shift it,” Madonna says.
Communication has also changed, with long phone calls replaced by constant texting.
While this can sometimes “build deeper communication sooner”, Madonna says it also leaves many frustrated after exhausting dating apps without finding connection.
She encourages people to move offline sooner rather than later.
“If you are meeting people through dating apps, I would say after forming a connection through text that feels like it is worth exploring, then move to an in-person meeting, rather than stringing it on too long,” she says.
On the Sunshine Coast, that first meeting often looks different from a traditional dinner date.
“Many choose to meet first for a beach walk or hike, often with dogs in tow, and if you find the conversation flows and the walk turns into lunch, then that is a good start,” she says.
For early dating, she says it is important to watch for red flags – from unclear commitment to controlling behaviour or emotional inconsistency.
“Failure to follow through with agreed plans and constant last-minute flaking out are big red flags,” she says, as is criticism or rejection of your friends, family or interests.
When relationships deepen, Madonna says the research is clear on what makes them last.
“Couples in happy, healthy, lasting relationships genuinely like each other,” she says.
They respond to each other’s bids for connection, build emotional positivity, and approach conflict with trust and care.
The strongest predictor of long-term success, she says, is friendship.
And when relationships stall, counselling should not be a last resort.
“If it feels like you are spinning your wheels and having the same arguments on repeat, then it would be a good idea to get some help,” Madonna says.
Both experts agree connection is rarely instant. It is built slowly, imperfectly and often outside usual comfort zones.
“Be sure not to just rely on the perfect soulmate philosophy or the idea that a good relationship should be easy or conflict-free all of the time,” Madonna says.
The idea that couples should share all the same interests is another myth, she adds. Instead, “great relationships take commitment, hard work and personal responsibility”.
And on the Sunshine Coast in 2026, whether seeking love, friendship or belonging, the simplest step may still be the hardest: showing up, saying ‘yes’ and trusting that connection is something built, not something that magically arrives like it does in the movies.
TOP TIPS FOR FORMING A CONNECTION
• Try one new group activity this month. Visit our Community Notes page to find local groups.
• Take small risks and say yes to invitations that are out of your comfort zone.
• Move the connection offline sooner rather than later.
FAST FACTS
The latest State of the Nation Report from Ending Loneliness Australia (2025) reveals:
• almost one-in-three people feel lonely, and people in rural areas are more likely to feel lonely
• one-in-six people are experiencing severe loneliness (reporting that they often or always feel lonely)
• those aged 15 to 24 are feeling lonelier than any other age group.
