They say lightning cannot strike twice. Well. I just returned from a very embarrassing stint in Fiji where I copped a bunch of stitches to my head after falling out of a hammock. Yep. A hammock! The wood beam at the end of it whacked me on the head because I think I was too curvy for the thing to hold me once my kids started piling in to rob me of my peace and quiet. But you see the strange thing of it all was the fact it was the second time in 3 months I received stitches to my head on that tiny island.
My family and I were in Fiji 3 months ago when I fell off a speeding and wobbly banana boat and needed stitches to my chin and had a bad concussion and a bruised face from hitting the water so hard. Nurse Mela had to be fetched by a small fishing boat (she was working on another island) and told me very calmly the clinic had run out of anaesthetic so the stitches may sting a little. It hurt like hell even in my concussed state. It also took an hour to do the stitches as everyone was on Fiji time and lots of the staff were coming for a look at the stupid six foot tall white woman who somehow fell off the inflatable fun raft and bashed herself quite badly in the process. But it was not all bad news falling off the stupid banana boat, as the island staff gave us a deal to come back that was so good we could not refuse. That is how I ended up lying on the ground beneath the swinging hammock and needing Nurse Mela to patch me up as blood poured down my face. Again. Yes I had a few sips of kava and a few wines at dinner and I thought I would lean into the tropical island vibe and have a little swing under the palm trees in a peaceful cocoon. I was kidding myself that I was channelling the famous hammock scene from Humphrey Bogart and Katherine Hepburn in The African Queen. I think I channelled Godzilla meeting King Kong. I was just a dead weight who toppled hard out of that swinging seat of death!
Some of us are just accident prone and I am one of those people. When we were kids one Christmas Mum bought my brother and sister a skateboard. I received knee pads, elbow pads and a helmet. Not a skateboard. I was devastated. But I have spent my life breaking bones and getting all sorts of strange cuts and bruises just from being a little uncoordinated. My goal this year is to give my hard head a chance to recover and avoid sitting in or on anything that moves. Perhaps I should avoid kava as well!
