Is anyone else having a mid-life fashion crisis? In my twenties, I loved clothes and spent too much of my pay on shoes. Then in my thirties and now forties, I had kids and I kind of forgot to worry about what I would be wearing. I am not sure where any style I had went, but it is sure missing in comfort and action.
But this year jeans are too tight and skirts are too short. I am sick to death of my plain T-shirts and equally as unhappy with my beloved boho paisley-patterned dresses. What is a girl to do? I look at a jumpsuit and break out in nervous hives at the thought of how I would possibly pee in this outfit. Are fishnets only for Halloween or do women still wear them? Even applying makeup seems an uphill battle.
I look like I am the walking dead with not enough make up on, or I look overdone with layers of foundation making me feel suffocated. I was hosting a fancy lunch for 400 business people this week, and of course, I stressed about what to wear.
I did what any woman does and sent messy bathroom selfies to my girlfriends for their opinions. The clear winner was a red dress I have owned for three years and never had the courage to wear. You have to be in a fierce mood to wear fire-engine red. But buoyed by their comments, I held my head high, squeezed into stockings and shoved my feet into tiny high heels. I spent an hour getting ready, which has not happened in a long time.
I walked into that event with minutes to spare, until we were on stage feeling pretty good. My radio mate, Todd turned to me and said, “Oh you look like Bronwyn Bishop.” Um. Okay. This is not what I expected to hear.
A few days later I interviewed jewellery entrepreneur, Samantha Wills and she told me she only wears neutrals. Perhaps that was the key. Samantha Wills looks like a supermodel, so admittedly she could wear a beekeepers outfit and look hot.
I vowed to start swanning around the Coast only in bark, fawn or oatmeal. Okay, these are just fancy words for beige. I am attracted to colour the way a bower bird likes treasures, but I was in search of The (beige) Holy Grail. The first morning I wore white jeans and linen shirt, I spilt a coffee and pumpkin soup on myself. Perhaps I will just stick to all black for a while.