How are you going heading back to the real world? Caveman chic days are ending as everything slowly returns to BC days (before corona days).
My caveman chic was less chic and more hick as I had grey roots for months and legs as hairy at my favourite Wookiee, Chewbacca. The only family I saw rocking the caveman chic look was, of course, the Hemsworth clan. The most perfect family in Byron Bay and Australia, and potentially the world.
One of my favourite pastimes is to Google photos of the blonde boho tribe as the gaggle of little kids traipse around Bryon Bay wearing their clay linen shorts and organic hemp tie-dye singlets with their fabulous little blonde tousled man buns on their heads.
Thor (sorry, Chris) is always right next to them leading by example and refusing to wear shoes. Maybe the God of Thunder has some special sole powers because us mere mortals would walk on prickles and be crippled by the pain or we would splat fair into doggy doo and have to get that smelly business out from between our toes, or worse still we would land fairly on a used needle or something very unsavoury.
Not the Hemsworth kids, or dad, or the hot Spanish mum who glides around barefoot in search of boho dresses and soy-milk lattes made by Nimbin slips of girls who look like a cross breed of hippie-fairies. Nope! Their feet all seem to have superpowers when it comes to avoiding anything painful or gross.
My two boys always want to go barefoot all the time because we live near the beach. This is fine for outdoor occasions but when we go to the shops, I like to pretend we are not the bogans that we probably really are at heart. So, I am a horrid mother and make them wear shoes.
If I am extra cruel, I make them wear socks under their sneakers. This usually ends with tears and groans and crying. The five-year-old monkey asked me the other day: “Why do I have to wear shoes to go to get groceries?” He has been raised with me asking him 398 times a day to go and put some shoes on so I snapped and replied: “If you do not wear shoes you will certainly catch coronavirus!”
The little guy turned white, but it did the trick. During lockdown I have resorted to some other little white lies.
The tooth fairy is a lazy little bludger and has not been to visit my daughter despite the fact her tooth has sat next to her bed for two months. Of course, we all know that she cannot get into the country due to Covid-19 restrictions. That was a good one!
And one of my best whoppers was telling the kids too much time on their iPads reduces their immunity system. I just hope they do not tell their teachers the porky pies I am telling them.