I am hot and cross and not just feeling flustered due to the crazy weather that has us all melting. Hot cross buns. They have turned rogue and their new flavours are outrageous.
I am a purist when it comes to flavours of the square slabs for your soul: fruit-flavoured, toasted, only with butter is the correct order of affairs. I am a Libran and I struggle to make decisions in many situations, but I am very black and white when it comes to these little squares of delicious dough.
You can only eat hot cross buns one week out from Easter. Fact. The law. No arguments. We had not even packed away the star atop the Christmas tree when the little mounds appeared on the
My husband and children are taking great pleasure in bringing home hot cross buns when Easter is nearly two months away. They like to see me suffer. They love to stir me up and hope for a reaction. Twisted souls. It is working and, I repeat, I am hot and cross.
Woolworths has gone bonkers with the range it is baking this year. There is a Lotus Biscoff-spread hot cross bun. Last year, the supermarket released a Lotus Biscoff cheesecake. The clever marketing results in the novelty flavours being only available for a small window of time each year, and the flavour combinations seem to get wilder by the year.
Hang on to your Easter bonnet as there is also a Cadbury Caramilk hot cross bun. And a fairy bread version. I am a tiny bit partial to this one because the cross is pink and you add the hundreds and thousands yourself – so, you feel like you are basically Jamie Oliver.
Coles is rumoured to be set to release a savoury flavoured hot cross bun in a collaboration with Arnotts Pizza Shapes. Last year, Coles released limited-edition flavours of red velvet cupcake, carrot cake and savoury burger sauce. Who comes up with these flavours? And there is a Vegemite-flavoured hot cross bun.
But do not cheat, Sunshine Coast. Hold strong and resist eating the toasted treats until closer to Easter. We need to keep some sanity in our civilisation. The only flavour I would truly endorse would be Baileys in the bun. Now that would be special.