I want a new job. And I have one I reckon I am qualified for, going on performances of late: CEO of the Bureau of Meteorology (BOM).
A requirement of the job is that you don’t have to be right all or even part of the time. Tick. Make up sentences that are generalisations and make sure that no matter the outcome, you have it covered. Tick.
Looking good so far for me, but the real clincher is to have no regard for budgets: that is, tell your clients (us) and your boss (government) that something will cost $4million and the final total is over $96million. WTF? Of course, I am talking about the new BOM website that you need to be astronaut Neil Armstrong to navigate around. Did I mention poor timing as well? Let’s do the massive changeover just at the start of storm and cyclone season.
Now, everyone in the federal government is looking at each other, trying to figure out what happened, and are promising to get it fixed. That gives me about as much confidence as the forecasting dialogue: “Fine, with possible showers in the afternoon or evening and possible thunderstorms.” I notice they have come up with a new one when they really have no clue: “Possible clearing showers in the morning or afternoon” – which is about as helpful as the federal opposition. To say this is a disgrace is an understatement of gigantic proportions – nearly as big as the budget blow-out.
While this debacle is being unpacked and arse covering is in full swing, I have three careers I don’t want. Firstly, we have schoolteachers striking because they can’t come to agreement with our state government on a fair wage increase.
I understand that the state government has to balance the books, and I certainly hope they are better at it than the feds. But surely our teachers, who are basically on the frontline with our police (I don’t want that job, either) but without the authority, deserve some compensation for safety and strain concerns?
The other job I don’t want is Energex emergency worker – the people who bravely risk their lives to keep us all in the comfort we think we deserve. Thank you to them, teachers, police and all our first responders.
I could do none of those jobs. But I am qualified for a job at the BOM. How sad.
