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Named and shamed

Opinion

Named and shamed

Sami Muirhead now has something in common with Donald Trump but she won’t be snacking on that newfound infamy any time soon.

I am hanging my head in shame this week after being labelled a work cheater. What a smear! Next, I will be forced to walk down the main street of Maroochydore with an A-frame sign slung over me, stating I am a scarlet woman.

You see, I have been accused of tampering with votes when it comes to naming our work confectionery vending machine. Stay with me here!

Is there anything more joyful than trudging to the vending machine to take your choice of goodies to pick you up in the afternoon? I love a KitKat on a Monday. Twisties on a Tuesday. Wednesday, I go to gym, so I take it easy and get a Summer Roll. Thursday and Friday, I splurge and get honey soy chicken chips.

Our old vending machine was called ‘Snacky Chan’ (Jackie Chan). Over Christmas, Snacky Chan spat out too many drinks and broke down. Sounds like me after a big Saturday night these days.

The new fancy machine is our pride and joy at work and needed a name. It even has salami and cheese and Jatz Crackers inside as options to purchase. My now nemesis Lachie sent out an all-staff email asking my work colleagues to vote on the name. The list included Snack Efron (Zac Efron), Captain Snack Sparrow (Jack Sparrow), Leonardo DiSnackrio (DiCaprio) and Hugh Snackman (Jackman).

I was desperate for Snacka-Dacca to win. I voted eight times. Simple as that. I did think at the time how strange that the computer let me keep voting. But I was drunk on the power of it all. I was feeling glorious when Lachie announced the name was indeed Snacka-Dacca.

I was celebrating when another email popped up, telling all our staff that it had come to his attention that I had voted repeatedly. My votes were taken away from the tally and the name was taken out of the final choice. Oh, the shame! Oh, the pain! Lance Armstrong, Tonya Harding, Tiger Woods and Donald Trump all flashed through my mind. They have all been accused of cheating in their sporting fields, professional or private lives. And now my name is in the mix.

For the record, our vending machine is called Hugh Snackman. It is not nearly as rock’n’roll as Snacka-Dacca but I dare not say that at work.

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Sami Muirhead is a radio announcer, blogger and commentator. For more from Sami tune into Mix FM.

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