Oh Christmas you little minx! You roll around so fast every year.This year I am doing exactly what I said I was not going to do: spending way too much and buying more plastic rubbish my kids do not need. I swore we would do things rather than buy stuff. I would teach them the meaning of thoughtfully selected and ethically made toys. But I caved. I have bought too much plastic stuff and melted my plastic card in the process.
On top of that I have already eaten my body weight in fruit mince pies and rum balls. My jeans are tight and the festive feasting is still ahead of us. As for easing off the drink, well, that would be a Christmas miracle as it is pretty hard to stay dry this time of year.
The house is decked out in nutcrackers, as that is our theme this year. So the 12 boxes of old Chrissy decorations have stayed in their containers, as I had to buy new red, green and gold decorations with splashes of tartan to go with my 19 new nutcrackers. My poor husband. He must think its normal behaviour to have a new colour scheme for Christmas every year.
The top of my eldest boy’s wish list is a Ninja Turtle Sewer Hideout. It costs $200. Yep. Santa may not be flush enough to buy it this year. The other little boy wants a giant Hot Wheels car set with King Kong exploding out of the side. I think the toy designers are either drunk or on crack. Where do they come up with these ideas? My daughter wants one thing: a dog. We have three dogs, so a canine is not coming for Christmas. Her second wish is a snake. I would take 101 dogs over a single snake. But they will be getting some toys despite me hating myself for adding to our material things.
So bring on the crazy season. I know I am pathetic so save the hate mail telling me I should buy less and spend more ethically and drink in moderation at this time of year. I would like to live this way, but I have no self-control.
I will be writing in the upcoming weeks about some amazing charities running Christmas drives but today’s column is purely a First World, white privilege kind of vibe.
As for my Christmas list? I have wanted to go to Gold Class since the fancy cinemas opened at Kawana. I would like a glass of champagne to start. Nachos and sliders in between and a big fat chocolate treat for dessert. My second item on the list is for the family meal to be delivered twice a week for 2020. No thinking about what to cook: no actual cooking, no whingeing about how the kids do not like my cooking. And thirdly, I would like a bright yellow bike with a basket that I could pop my eldest shitsu in as I peddle around Point Cartwright to forget I have melted my credit card on material rubbish. None of these gifts will be happening. I have not been good enough all year.