Tis nearly the season to be jolly. No, I don’t mean Christmas. I am referring to champagne season. Some countries have rabbit-hunting season (gross), others go crazy for cricket season (yawn). Us Aussies are fast developing another time of year where we unequivocally get excited – bubbly season.
Aussies knock back approximately eight million bottles of champagne every year, 40 per cent of which gets consumed from November to February. Impressive or embarrassing? Well I am a bubbly kind of girl and in summer nothing is more festive than a glass of liquid gold. What did Dom Pérignon say about drinking champagne? “Come quickly, I am tasting the stars!” I assume this eight million bottles of plonk statistic is the fancy stuff. Labelled champagne, it is the good stuff and must come from that region in France.
So my mind boggles as to how many million bottles of sparkling vino are guzzled in addition during this silly season.
Our bubbly obsession has also started chatter on social media about the old theory that whacking a spoon upside down in a half-finished bottle of plonk keeps it fresh. I am unsure of any scientific credibility here but it’s something I have done my whole life. It got me thinking about all that good advice we take in our lives and follow blindly (thanks Mumsy). There was walking to and from school with corn cob holders in my pocket in case some lunatic attacked me. “Just stab them as hard as you can in the groin dear,” my mum would tell me cheerily.
My best friend (and those people from Le-Tan) taught me that it was great to smother your body in coconut tanning lotion and lie in the sun for hours on end. I am paying for that these days as sun spots pop up on my skin like celebrities in singing or dancing shows.
Other life aspects from the 1980s that were completely normal at the time? Spending the day driving to Double Island bouncing around with six other kids in the back of the ute. No seat belts, booster seats or side airbags. Nope. We just sat in the back of the ute and held onto the side as we rode along the blue shoreline in total bliss, sucking in the salt air and sometimes my dad’s ciggies if the smoke blew out the window and into our faces. We’ve come a long way, haven’t we? Or maybe not.
Either way its time to enjoy the bubbly season, set to officially commence in a matter of weeks (hello Flemington). May you have no hangovers and find affordable bubbles to celebrate the good times. May you avoid spillages and glass breakages. May you swerve the liquid gold frothing over the side of the flute in excitement and may you too taste the stars. And for the record, the experts say whacking that upside down spoon in the half empty bottle of champers doesn’t actually work. Yet another fail in the evolution of life lessons for those of us who grew up in the ’80s. All good I say. Cheers.