Best part of my week? It was having a really big belly laugh when I read humans think about sex eight times a day on average, according to new research. Oh, please!
You know what I think about eight times a day? Sleeping. And going to some exotic island where it is happy hour all day and I only have to leave my hammock to dip my bronzed toes in the Pacific Ocean. I also think about blue cheese numerous times a day and I definitely think about my dogs eight times a day.
I have also been daydreaming about a revamped TV room that will one day smell like fresh lavender and have Nordic furniture and big boho cushions scattered on Moroccan rugs. In my fantasy, my children and husband sit around in indoor tents, strumming Cat Stevens on the guitar and eating organic homemade protein balls. It will all resemble a Coachella festival filled with creative boho kids who are all dressed in clean beige linen overalls.
Of course, our present TV room smells like a pet shop. A damp pet shop that has not been open to fresh air for a few weeks. Under the couch there could very well be a dead pet or two for all I know. There is most certainly a plastic cup; a tonne of Lego; an umbrella; a sock or two and 12 dead cockroaches.
It is a cesspit of stuffed toys, toy cars, Baby Bjorn outfits and sultanas. What is it with sultanas in your car and under your couch? Anyway, you do not ever want to end up under our couch. But this room has served us well for seven years as a TV room that has somehow morphed into a room for my three children.
If the kitchen is the heartbeat of our home, then this TV room is the kidneys, where we go to give our systems a break and try to restore, replenish and rest the senses. It is where we all flop down when we have battled the world and we need some escapism and some fluffy rugs to warm our souls.
But I am ready for change. I am ready to have a room we are proud to show our family and friends. So Operation New TV Room has commenced. I have started gathering Instagram pictures of amazing TV rooms that are probably sets for magazine shoots or homes of the rich and famous.
Anyway, I am sure as heck not thinking about sex eight times a day. I will let you know how I go over the next few months with the makeover. If you do not hear from me, please send a search party to look under my couch.