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Unwanted gift etiquette


Unwanted gift etiquette

Sami Muirhead questions whether we should tell our partners the truth when we don’t like a gift, or stay quiet and be grateful.

My husband this week found something out that has taken me a decade to tell him. Is it a sign the honeymoon is over or do we all get to a stage in relationships where we feel we can let it all hang out?

You see, I do not like the moisturiser he has been buying me as a gift for 10 years. He is of the old school belief that if you buy your girl flowers when you can and also make her a coffee every day no matter what, then you have a happy wife.

And we all know that means you have a happy life. A little spoiling now and again also tends to keep the beast at bay.

You know that person who comes out at the end of a long day when you feel like perhaps you need to resort to making a PowerPoint presentation to explain for the 296th time how to empty the clothes dryer?

Anyway, my husband’s big sister always had an obsession for a posh brand of mango body moisturiser. Sounds heavenly.

Well, it is not. It smells sickly sweet like something my six-year-old would like and it does not rub into the skin. My beautiful hubby thought us girls must all like the stuff so every time he flies on a work trip or goes to a capital city he goes out of his way to buy me another bottle of the mango moisturiser.

There are two schools of thought on this little predicament.

I know. He is a keeper. And for a whole decade I have smiled and said thank you and filed it away in our bathroom cupboard and even though I have dozens of bottles of the stuff, I still feel compelled to use it rather than let it go to waste.

But this week I casually mentioned that it was really expensive and I perhaps might try another brand of leg moisturiser that is much more affordable and less fruity.

Well I would have had less of an impact if I suggested Beyoncé cannot dance or Noosa is ugly. It was as if the world was going to end as my husband turned red and told me I loved that moisturiser and that is why he has bought it for me for 10 long years. It was ‘our’ little thing. Hmmm.

There are two schools of thought on this little predicament. The first is, you shut your mouth, grateful for anything your partner buys you. I am usually a fan of that move. And usually because it is a gift, I really do love it. But if I have to inhale mango fumes for one more month, I am going to barf.

So I chose the second option. Big mistake. I came off sounding like a spoilt brat and I have mortally wounded my husband. I thought we were at that stage of our relationship where we could be comfortable to let it all out.

Case in point, on a Friday night we both fall asleep drooling on the couch after watching Better Homes And Gardens. Once upon a time, I would have been out to show my man I was a party queen.

Maybe for the sake of romance, some things are just better left unsaid and therefore in my quest for a strong marriage, I will delete the PowerPoint presentation on how to empty the dryer.


Sami Muirhead is a radio announcer, blogger and commentator. For more from Sami tune into Mix FM.

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