It has been a strange year to be a human being on planet Earth. At the time of our interview there was a great heaviness in the world. In the US, cities burned. In Australia, we saw protests, finger-pointing and upheaval. It can sometimes be hard to remain unruffled. How do we shake off the feel-good memes like a wet dog and increase true happiness and contentment in these unpredictable times?
Here Tami Roos shares her tools to take some responsibility for our lives, to live an honest life and how to come home to ourselves.
BRENDON RADEMAKERS: Tami, you’re the antithesis of the fuzzy modern-day spiritual guide and a lot of your work focuses on taking responsibility for your life in order to reboot it. What does it mean by coming home to yourself?
TAMI ROOS: I think if you don’t know who you really are, then it is almost impossible to lead a life filled with joy and have well-formed, functioning relationships. A lot of people focus on making other people happy, or helping others reach their goals or achieve their dreams. That’s well intentioned, but sooner rather than later it leaves people resentful and makes them feel seen but not heard. It often leads to emotional outbursts, which can ruin relationships. What I teach is getting to know yourself again. Asking yourself what fills you up? Not being selfish but putting some self-care into yourself. Things don’t have to be this way – we can fix ourselves. As a result, you’ll be more fulfilled, more content and more relaxed. You’ll have stronger and more nourishing relationships. You’ll respond rather than react.
BR: I’m imagining that is more difficult than it sounds. How do you keep going with it? Is it a one step at a time process?
TR: You need to create space every day to be quiet, to listen to your breath, to be still. You can call it meditation, but I like to call it loving your mind.
If you don’t love your mind, who will?
Some time, every single day I find a place where I can turn myself off and recharge my batteries. It should be fun, and it should be non-negotiable. When you do that you start realizing that I’m in control here – my mindset, my attitude, my responses. What comes from that is a powerful force. I’ve written in my books about a diamond inside of all of us. Over time and through experiences, the diamond tends to get layers on it, and it gets dirty – so to speak. The more you come home to yourself, the more you start shining that diamond – removing layers of dirt and revealing the essence of what was always there.
BR: Kids can often bear the brunt of instability in the world. Parents lose jobs, face financial pressure or are cooped up too long together and squabble. Some kids went months without seeing friends and developed anxiety. Your Sandcastles program helps those kids find their own quiet spaces and gives them similar tools to love their minds.
TR: These kids need to accept themselves. They have emotions, they have feelings. They need to fill their tanks up too.
BR: And like the adults, it should be fun for them also, right?
TR: Absolutely. Human beings are disconnected. Their heads are down. They’re on their phones. They live in their own worlds. Use your smile. Connect with your eyes. Connect with others. We need to feel calm, but we also need a sense of wonder. Life is meant to have joy and to be magical.
Dr Tami Roos is an author, instructor and highly-sought after speaker. She has a degree in International Commerce, an MBA and a PhD in Parapsychic Science. She is considered one of Australia’s leading wellbeing coaches. She has trained global leaders, CEOs and AFL teams in the power of mindfulness. She has released a new program – Love Your Mind on her website – www.tamiroos.com. Tami is currently working with Beautiful Minds – a leading Australian brand for teen mental health which was founded by Marina Passalaris on the Sunshine Coast and is a global organisation.